Monday, June 27, 2005
*WARNING
THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY INTELLECTUAL/SERIOUS POST. ANYBODY WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME THING, YOU VERY WELL MIGHT BE THE PERSON INVOLVED.---------------------------------------------------------
yes, intellectual this will be. i'm not going to pst any pictures or short forms except the random lahs or lohs. my normal lingo.
anyway, i was reading this famous blogger's blog, http://www.xiaxue.blogspot.com , when one of her posts made me realise something. she once had an online friend which double crossed her, being some weird stuck up obnoxious phd or honours holder heck, i don't even care. in the initial stages of setting up her blog, he stuck by her and assisted her in every possible way.
he went all the way to uploading her background pictures, editing the html for her. but when her blog got popular, he got afraid. afraid that his boss might look down on him for having a friend like xiaxue, clueless and frightfully honest. he asked her to close down her blog, for his own personal gains, coldly rejected her, reducing her to tears. but now, i feel sorry for him. because he rejected asia's best blogger.
stupidly.he sent her an email about a year after the accident and she happily dissed him right back at his face and even posted the email on the blog. serves him right.
similarly, the same thing happened to me. it wasn't an online friend, but it was a close friend. my
best friend. she got angry over a little piece of paper. i wonder. maybe it was my fault. maybe.
*lynette had known me since kindergarden. and she didn't really notice me. but in pr3, i became good friends with her. we had a good and steady 3 year on-off friendship until disaster struck. and i really mean HARD
whacking us, both lynette and me, on the head.
she had erm.. written this private letter to a *ahem* guy and well... it got intercepted by me. not really. FINE. i stole it. his maid gave it to me lah. anyway. i was being childish and unbelievably high(im not on drugs). and i was flashing it around. i was in the middle of my pr6 education being in the "opted-em1 class"<---- i wanted to go to em2 but my mother amde a decision for me our days were carefree and we were known as- The Fake Em1's not everyone has like the IQ of 1000. this supposed to be serious so yah.
being unbelievably childish, i was waving it around the ice-cream man truck in front of all our friends(i was going to sit a bus home) and she naturally got angry. she
DEMANDED in her- oh no. she got
HER SISTER to ask. she asked me to give it back. but i didn't let anyone read it. i just waved it around and saying, "This is lynette's *ahem*"
yah and i got super pissed of in the bus and to go home, you could stop at 2 different bus stops to change a bus (lynette stays very near me, we both stop at the same stop) i got off first leaving the rest of my friends, who chose to stay with the ever-more-popular lynette. they asked me why i was going to get off at the bus stop before our usual stop. i said, "Somebody's face so black, I'm afraid I'll hurt my eyes."
and you know what was the worst thing about it? no one stopped me. not one of my friends stopped me from getting off the bus. at that point, i realised, they were all her lackeys, like i have been, trailing behind her like a dumb dog. i've only been with her because everyone liked her.
and then i cried.
i cried because i was cheated and understandably upset. i, of all people, was manipulated by HER. and i realised that ALL of them, weren't my true friends. i know it may seem dumb and all. but i read xiaxue's blog and realised how honest her posts are and i decided, that i shouldn't keep everything inside, i should let them out like "
PHWOAR!" you know? if you don't know what the
PHWOAR! sounds like, try pronouncing
FWA!<--- di si shen.
and then she let out a
SUPER DUPER BIG HUGE PHWOAR! secret of mine and everything fell into place.
she was a bitch.
easy as that. oh. of course i got angry and then let something else slip out of my careless mouth. tsk tsk.
OOPS! MY BAD! she should have never thought of double crossing me. and she sort of got defamed.
anyway, i realised, i don't have any friends.
SERIOUS. everybody is so using me! i mean when they need me they are oh-so-nice. when they don't they just ignore me i mean what is their problem? why can't they get someone else to do their crappy stuff?
i am so sick and tired of people using me. of course i have my good friends like ravin and ruby but somehow, i think i am extra. don't you get that feeling too?
i tell you the best person in my class is li wenn. i thought she was angry and stuff. and to make her not angry, i went recess with ruby and ravin and if liwenn, you are reading this,
i'm sorry. i shouldn't have left for recess with ruby, ravin and gang that day, i should have waited for you.
i'm sorry. if its possible, can i go recess with you again? please? leave a reply on my tagboard k?
toodles people~
----------------------------------------------------
*names have been changed to protect the well, almost innocent.
6:45 PM